From a comment attached to the last post:

I would agree that many people today feel they must commit to monogamy simply because someone else tells them they should, and that is not healthy. Yet many of these people also don’t feel that they should have to work at their relationship at all, and that is not healthy either. (My emphasis)

The key word in that quote is the word “work” which is at once explicitly indicative of the American cultural paradigm and and the same time so subliminal that most wouldn’t think that the word itself could mean much. Gloss over it; it’s just an expression.

It’s not really an expression though. Kipnis goes on at length about the idea of “working” at relationships in Against Love and I think it is definitely one of the stronger points of her book. To put it briefly: The idea that one must “work” for a living, “work” for a better standard of living, “work” at becoming more psychologically correct (therapy people), is peculiar to the US; Why must everything be so hard?; Why aren’t things just set up the way they should be??

Of course, I don’t really have to stretch to point the blame for this atrocious kind of thinking squarely in the hands of the Christians, again. Seems like their machinations pop up everywhere. IF this country was founded on the Christian ideal, IF this ideal has filtered down to the present day, then it is little wonder that “work” is the mantra by which we are beat about the head and shoulders from an early age. “Work” is the cornerstone of the Christian faith.

Theologically speaking, work must be carried out in order to fix, or attempt to alieviate, some of the problems that good ol’ Adam and Eve left for us. The world is screwed up right? I mean, nothing is right about the world itself in Christian theology. All the bad crap that happens, from murder to earthquakes, is our (humans’) fault right? And we screwed up God’s creation right? So we kinda have to fix it…

Well, not really. Actually, the big theological issue that forces 60-hour work weeks on us is even simpler, though still the fault of Christians. God punished the kids in the garden partly by decrieing that nothing would be handed to them, nay, they would only garner reward through the sweat of their brow(s). Or in childbirth… or something.

The history of this theology is rather complicated, but suffice to say that the Calvinists in their bid to separate themselves even further from the Church than Luther would have, decided that work itself was part of the path to salvation. Indeed, God would just call out one’s name and say: “Hey, Joe, you know, I think you should be a nurse,” and Joe was supposed to just then be a nurse and, goddamnit, be the best nurse that he could be. All ‘cause he heard God speak to him. (Note that I am being somewhat hyperbolic here, but not too much)

America was founded by Calvinists of various varieties. You do the math.

Little wonder that the work ethic of the Christian fascists has crept into our bedrooms. Theorhetically, the church is supposed to regulate who is supposed to sleep with whom, even if it doesn’t work out in practice as it does in the dogma. Even sex is really supposed to be work. In these days, people have to go to therapy to fix their sexual problems if they don’t “work.” In other words, you have to work to make it work.

I really credit Kipnis with this line of arguement, at least in terms of the therapy thing. She doesn’t really go so far as to point the finger at Christians… but I do!

Gotta run

-vec